39 – Kick Ass

Okay, so normally the movies I’ve been writing about have been ones that are a little bit old, but I figure it’s time to do  a review on a new release. Don’t worry though, I’ll try and keep this one as spoiler-free as possible. Besides, I think I’m the only person amongst my friends who hadn’t seen it, so I figured I needed to get out and see it. And therein I think was my first mistake – listening to my friends.

Kick-Ass is the story of Dave, a teenager, who went one further than the rest of us who have every wondered why people haven’t really tried to do the whole ‘superhero’ thing, and actually did it. His first exploits are filmed and put up on YouTube and he becomes an overnight online sensation. He then quickly finds out that there really are some proper superheroes (a father and daughter duo known as Hit Girl and Big Daddy) in the city and that he’s quickly getting in over his head.

The movie is directed by Matthew Vaughn, who was the producer on Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, and Snatch, as well as directing Layer Cake, and a lot of that mood and tone comes out in Kick-Ass, as well as a few recurring actors. The action scenes are very fast-paced, bordering on being occasionally too brief, and the one-liners are just as rapid-fire, with some of the best ones coming from Hit-Girls, played near-perfectly by Cloe Moretz. The movie’s been copping a bit of flack regarding the violence and swearing that comes from Hit-Girl’s mouth, but the actor clearly shows a maturity far beyond her years. She’s already got a fairly long resume at the moment, but she’s definitely a girl we’re going to see more of in the next few years. Her father, Big Daddy, is played by Nic Cage, who delivers a fairly average performance, but it’s probably good for Nic’s career to be attached to a title like this.

The rest of the cast seems to be somewhat of a low-rent Apatow ensemble cast, but for the majority of the movies, it actually works that we’re watching a screen full of, generally speaking, no-names. Throughout the whole movie, it’s hard to work out where abouts in the ‘comic-book adaptation’ it tries to be. It was originally a comic-book, but it’s constant comic-book style is a constant joy to watch, and even at it’s most bleak, it’s a movie that never takes it self that seriously. It’s full of comic-book cliches that would normally have you up out of your seat to leave the cinema, Kick-Ass’s constant tongue-in-cheek seems to give it a free pass to exploit every cliche in the book.

The end of the movie, there’s always the big twist ending, that seems to hint at a sequel. In a world that’s full of movie franchises though, I’m hoping that this movie remains just a one-off. From reports that I’ve read, they’re not currently planning a sequel, and the comic book of the same name (which, interestingly enough, had a film-deal signed before the first issue was released), seems to follow the same storyline, so who knows.

I’m still fairly undecided on whether or not I really liked this flick though, despite all it’s good points. I think, as I mentioned earlier, my big mistake was listening to friends – everyone I know seems to be talking about this movie like it’s the second coming of Christ. I can hardly blame many of them though – this is the sort of movie that is just built for the hype machine – there’s something in it for nearly everyone (except maybe your nan), so while it is a comic-book movie, it’s one that even those of us that aren’t massive geeks can thoroughly enjoy. It ticks every single comic-book adaption plot device in the book, and does so with a big evil grin on it’s face.

I’d say go and see this, but maybe wait until it comes out on DVD. It’s a good big-screen movie, but I don’t think that the big-screen is necessarily a must. There’s enough of the other stuff that goes on to carry this well on any screen. I’m going to give Kick Ass 3 out of 5 hidden identities.

Hit-Girl: okay, you cunts, let’s see what you can do now!

38 – Funny People

I know this movie got panned in most reviews I saw – but I think the main problem is that it was advertised as a typical Apatow movie. I mean, just look at that poster. It even says that it’s The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up as associated movies. Yes, Judd Apatow wrote and directed Funny People, but do yourself a favour and just ignore that shit before starting this movie. Funny People is not supposed to be a funny movie.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are funny moments, but – okay, let me break it down for you: Adam Sandler plays, well, Adam Sandler. His character’s name is George Simmons, but essentially it’s like it’s Adam Sandler 20 years from now. One day George finds out that he’s got a terminal illness and only has a few months to live. So one night, down in the dumps, goes to some suburban open mic night, where he sees Ira, played by Seth Rogen. Ira is an okay comedian, but has dreams of giving up his shit day-job to do comedy full time. George gets up on stage before Ira and does a routine that’s more like a foretelling of death. Ira takes the piss out of him a little and thinks he gets away with making George look like an idiot until he runs into him in the carpark. They exchange bland pleasantries. The next day, George calls Ira and asks him to join him for a corporate gig a few weeks later. During the gig, George offers him a job as his assistant.

We then follow George on his trip of dealing with his terminal illness and his experiment with a trial drug, monitored by his doctor, and how his life revolves around it as he accepts his fate. Apatow apparently wanted to write a story about his life as an up and comer, but realised that all his mentors were quite nice to him – but what would’ve happened if his biggest influences were jerks? This is that movie. It’s almost a documentary in parts than it is fiction. There’s plenty of comedic actors playing themselves, and you’ll spend many scenes picking out your favourites – hell, there’s a scene where even Eminem tells George that he needs to relax.

Also, being an Aussie, it’s quite jarring to see Eric Bana playing an Australian. There’s a particular emotional scene which is quite weird due to all the St Kilda Football Club merch that surrounds the characters in the scene. Not to mention Eric Bana finally playing an Aussie role again!

Funny People is an occasionally funny, but generally quite emotional and rather sad movie, but in an unexpected way that makes it a joy to watch. You feel like you’re getting a true insight into their lives in an authentic, genuine way.

Funny People gets 4 out of 5 one-liners.

Ray Romano: [regarding George's illness] How did he know he had it?
Ira: He said he was feeling dizzy and tired. So he went to the doctor, and it was in his blood work.
Ray Romano: That sucks, ’cause I get dizzy and tired. Anybody gets sick and I think I’m gonna get it. Is it contagious? It’s not contagious, is it?
Ira: No. No, I’ve been around him a lot. I feel fine.
Ray Romano: Okay, ’cause when you were talking, a little bit of your spit hit my lip. Not that you got it, but he spits on your lip, you spit on mine, and the next thing you know, I’m dead, and my wife’s fucking George Lopez.

Project: FAIL! … fail?

Okay, so the plan didn’t quite go to, well, plan. I’ve watched a few more movies than I’ve blogged about, but to be honest, I’ve had such a whirlwind 2009, I’ve spent most of it trying to get my life back into some kind of manageable routine, so I can devote more time to the actual blogging. I even failed at that too. Seriously though, if you came and found me on January 1st and told me what was going to happen for the rest of the year, there’s no way I’d believe you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a good 2009, but I can’t help but feel that 2010 is going to be even more awesome.

Mind you, I enjoy having this blog as a constant reminder that I need to see more movies, so in a way, I did what I wanted it to do. I mean, I don’t think I’ve watched High Fidelity once all year, that’s gotta be an accomplishment in itself, right?

So suffice to say, I’ll keep writing into 2010, and honestly, I might just go past 101 and just blog everytime I see a new movie from here until forever? Who knows, maybe if I can get back into the swing of things, I can make up for it and do 202 by the end of next year? HA, okay, maybe I shouldn’t get too far ahead of myself just yet. I do enjoy writing my faux-reviews, and hopefully you enjoy reading them too.

Well, I hope you guys all had a great 2009, and I hope that you’re all currently enjoying your well-earned end-of-year break. It’s time to get outside for a while, spend some time with family, reflect on the year that’s been, then start to make plans for 2010. As for me, I’m taking my girlfriend to my hometown to meet the rest of my family for Christmas, but I’ll be back in a few weeks with more reviews. Who knows, maybe I’ll even score a few DVDs for Christmas!

Laters.

#37 – Bruno

No. Just no. Don’t ever see this movie ever, for any reason at all.

Worst movie of the year.

#36 The Soloist

It’s no secret that Jamie Foxx is a bit of a douchebag in real life, but I kinda find him to be the movie equivalent of Liam Gallagher – as a person, he’s a total jackass, but it’s hard to fault the talent. I can only assume that Jamie took this role in The Soloist so he can get another Oscar nomination – because everyone knows that ‘tards equal Oscar glory. While this movie isn’t the greatest movie of the year, there’s no denying that Jamie Foxx is an amazing actor.

The Soloist is a movie about LA Times journalist Steve Lopez, who’s looking desperate for a meaningful story to write about, when he one day stumbles upon a mentally challenged violin player (like there’s any other kind, am I right orchestra-geeks? BAM!) Nathaniel Ayers, who … you know what, I’ve seen this movie a dozen times, as you have. Rich Guy meets up with Guy From The Wrong Side Of The Tracks to help give him a second chance, and The Rich Guy realises he has just as much to learn, and everyone ends up all the better for it.

I guess the best I can say about this movie, is that it’s “nice”. It’s the kind of movie that I could easily show my mum. In fact, mum if you’re reading this, you and Dad should go and see it.

That above sentence is either a recommendation or a warning. You pick. It’s an enjoyable film, don’t get me wrong, and I was happy to sit through it, but just know that there’s almost nothing original about this movie. I mean, look at the art style of the poster – you’ve ever seen that a dozen times before. The only original thing about this, is that this is actually based on a real story.

It has some nice moments in it, and it’s a lovely way to spend 90 minutes on a Sunday afternoon, but just don’t go into it with high hopes, and you’ll be fine.

I give The Soloist 3 out of 5 Unfinished Symphonies

“I’m telling you, it was such an unbelievable experience – the whole thing, the whole day and if you had seen him, if you could have felt him. I mean it’s the same hall, we’re listening to the same goddamn music, but no, you see him it’s one thing, but you feel him, I’m watching him and he’s watching the music and while they’re playing, I say ‘my god, there is something higher out there, something higher out there and he lives with it and he’s experiencing it – i’ve never experienced it, but i can tell, i don’t even know what you fuckin call it?”
“grace”
“what? what is it?”
“GRACE”
“THAT’S grace? Thank you! To be there with him like that and see the way that he is transported – he surrenders. Dammit honey. I mean, I’ve never loved anything the way he loves that music”

#35 – Family Guy Presents ‘Blue Harvest’

Okay, so I guess this is kind of cheating. It’s not really a “movie” exactly, but it is a ‘feature-length’ episode, and it was released on dvd as it’s own special, so fuck it. Besides, I’m a little behind schedule and need to catch up, so this is a quick win for me.

I really don’t know what to say about this – it’s exactly what you think it is. It’s Family Guy taking off Star Wars IV. It’s good because there’s enough for just the casual Family Guy fan (because let’s face it, if there’s anyone that hasn’t seen the Star Wars trilogy, well, I can’t know you), but then there’s a heap of great references to keep fans going as well – some of the ‘camera’ shots are absolutely perfect. Not to mention how much they would’ve paid in royalties.

So, essentially, the ‘episode’ happens when the episode opens to the Griffins watching tv (one of the funniest gags of the whole thing), when the power goes out, Peter tells everyone the story of Star Wars. One of the best bits is actually right at the end, when Chris accuses Peter of just copying what Robot Chicken did a few months ago – funny because Chris is voiced by Seth Green, one of the co-creators of Robot Chicken, with Peter, voiced by Seth MacFarlane, one of the creators of Family Guy.

As a self-confessed Star Wars geek, the most impressive thing about this is the attention to detail. From the same shots, to homages to favourite quotes, to picking at what was originally a huge plot hole that have been talked about for years. Naturally I’m going to give this a solid 5 out of 5, and as an indication, here’s the opening scrolling text that parodies the intro to each of the Star Wars movies…

A long time ago, but somehow in the future…

Episode IV A NEW HOPE

It is a period of civil war and renegade
paragraphs floating through space.

There’s cool space battles, and the bad guy is the good guy’s dad. But you
don’t find that out ’til the next episode. And the hot chick is really the sister of
the good guy, but they don’t know it and they kiss. Which is kind of messed up.
I mean, what if they had done it instead of just kissed?

Angelina Jolie kissed her brother. Yeah, she did. You know it, I know it,
and her dad knows it. That’s why they hardly ever talk anymore.
You can run away to Africa, but you can’t run away from the truth.

Oh, by the way, here’s a tip for you: when this is over, go out and
rent the movie “Gia.” She’s way naked in it, and makes out with another chick
and everything. It’s awesome. I stumbled across it late night on HBO after I had
just got back from hockey, and I almost fainted. But I digest…

Princess Leia was coming back from buying space groceries when this happened…

Oh and by the way, it’s called “Blue Harvest” because that’s what Return Of The Jedi’s working title was.

#34 The Wrestler

This was another movie I watched on my airline flight from the UK. Probably the wrong time to watch it, being all sleep-deprived that I was, because this movie is super-depressing. Even during the rare happy moments, you just know that something fucked up is about to happen. For people that have seen the doco from the 90s, Beyond The Mat? It’s basically a screen-play version of that.

The movie stars Mickey Rourke, a washed up wrestler called Randy “The Ram”, who used to be a high profile wrestler back in the 80s, but these days he struggles to pay rent in his trailer park home and spends most nights sleeping in the back of his van. He wrestles are small-time community halls in local wrestling circuits, surrounded by wrestlers half his age, while he spends his prep time taping up his various failing limbs and joints – that is, when he’s not injecting steroids.

Life goes from bad to worse when, just weeks after having a come-back match in the big-time with The Ram’s arch enemy, he suffers a major heart attack and needs to have a heart bypass. The doctor tells him that his body simply cannot take any more wrestling or steroids, and basically says to him point blank that if he continues with this, he will die. Randy decides to take the doc’s advice and starts on the straight and narrow, yet after just a few days working in the deli at his local supermarket, he realises he can’t take it anymore and books himself in for the showdown against The Ayatollah. The final wrestling scene leaves things a bit open-ended, which I kinda liked, as the movie was becoming incredibly predictable, so to leave it a little open-ended wasn’t too bad.

Along the way, you see the relationship with his teenage daughter, or lack thereof, as she deals with not having her father around. He’s incredibly incompetent as a father, and doesn’t seem to know the first thing about parenthood, but his heart’s in the right place, so you do end up feeling sorry for him. We also see a relationship play out with a stripper at his local bar, played surprisingly well by Marisa Tomei.

As I mentioned the whole movie is fairly heavy-going, and it’s quite upsetting to see a guy take hit after hit in his life, and really struggling to deal with his life after being in the spot-light for so long. But it’s still a captivating movie, and I couldn’t help be stay pinned to every scene just to find out how it ends. Make sure you’re in the right mood to see this one, but just make sure you do.

I give The Wrestler 3 and a half People’s Elbows out of 5

“I just want to tell you, I’m the one who was supposed to take care of everything. I’m the one who was supposed to make everything okay for everybody. It just didn’t work out like that. And I left. I left you. You never did anything wrong. I used to try to forget about you. I used to try to pretend that you didn’t exist, but I can’t. You’re my girl. You’re my little girl. And now, I’m an old broken down piece of meat… and I’m alone. And I deserve to be all alone. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

#33 This Is England

This is a movie I picked up almost by accident – I was looking at the dvd store a while ago, and happen to pick this up, thinking it was a different movie, then read the back and realised it was worth the hire. And now that I’ve watched it? Yeah, totally worth the hire.

The story’s about this young kid called Shaun, who’s father was killed in the Falklands War, gets the shit kicked out of him at school on a fairly regular basis. He’s on his way home from school one day all pissed off and frustrated at the world, when he runs into a group of skinheads who take pity on him and start to bring him into their group, lead by an older boy called Woody.

One day, a mate of Woody’s is released from prison, nicknamed Combo. Combo’s found a new streak of racism in him, and is wanting a team of followers, only Woody and his mates, who are more of the traditional non-political skinheads, want nothing of it. Shaun, however, chooses to side with Combo, who then takes him under his wing. Shaun is lead down a steep and dangerous path, which eventually ends up in a deadly confrontation and forces Shaun to have some solid realisations about where his life is heading.

This movie is definitely not for the faint of heart, and is fairly tough-going for most of the movie. The racism is incredibly confronting, and it’s quite sad to see a young child swayed so easily on his quest to look for a new role-model. Despite being so hard to watch, it’s even harder to turn away. A quality cast, a solid script and a genuinely great storyline that just drips of gritty realism.

I give This Is England 4 out of 5 St George’s Crosses.

Lovely, lovely, love you for that, that’s fucking great. A proud man, learn from him; that’s a proud man. That’s what we need, man. That’s what this nation has been built on, proud men. Proud fucking warriors! Two thousand years this little tiny fucking island has been raped and pillaged, by people who have come here and wanted a piece of it – two fucking world wars! Men have laid down their lives for this. For this… and for what? So people can stick their fucking flag in the ground and say, “Yeah! This is England.”

#32 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – LIVE BLOGGING!

Well, here’s another one of my movies that gets the reaction of “oh my god, how could you not have seen that movie?” with Ferris Beuller’s Day Off. So, given that everyone’s probably already seen this, I though I might do something slightly different and live-blog my review, so I’ll give some running commentary as I watch it, completely unedited. I dunno how this will pan out, but let’s give it a shot, shall we?

For those that want to play along at home, I have the dvd copy of it (yes, a legally purchased copy – I got it as a triple pack a few year ago, and yet I STILL haven’t gotten around to watching it until now), so to get the full experience, you’ll want to watch it along with me, press play on your dvd player …… now:

0:00:00 START
0:00:39 … is there a movie from the 80s that DOESN’T have a wood-panelled station wagon?
0:03:18 oh god, I hope they don’t do that “break the fourth wall” thing throughout the whole movie
0:03:56 … shit, they really are, aren’t they
0:05:22 if this was around today, I’d assume he was gay
0:05:35 what?? WRONG! THE WALRUS WAS PAUL!
0:06:17 … I’ve seen that teacher in something before, I swear. I should IMDB him later.
0:06:57 oh hey cool, it’s the guy from Spin City
0:08:49 holy shit, that computer is SO HIGH TECH!
0:11:46 ew, did Jeanie just refer to her brother as a ‘trouser snake’?
0:17:26 the first black person of the whole movie!
0:18:07 as if they’d leave it to the school nurse to pass on the news of a death in the family!
0:23:23 seriously, is Ferris meant to be gay?
0:35:00 Cameron’s outfit does not work at all. A hockey jersey with brown slacks? And that hat!
0:36:14 very very nice. It explains the rope on the statue from earlier.
0:27:02 wow, that really is a fucking nice car
0:27:41 .. is she wearing shorts? Are they shorts?
0:28:40 jesus, they really are shorts. Fuck I love the 80s
0:29:04 first genuine laugh of the movie
0:29:32 stop talking into the camera!
0:31:14 aahh, so this is where “Save Ferris” comes from
0:31:58 This principal really has a lot of spare time on his hands
0:37:11 is it just me, or does this seem like a really lame day off? They’re not even drunk yet!
0:38:01 So was Steve Jobs a fan of this movie?
0:42:31 Seriously! Why is nobody drinking????
0:42:41 This Gloria Estefan wannabe is getting really annoying. I hate her character
0:46:02 hahahaha, those sunglasses are AWESOME
0:48:00 do they really have baseball games during the week? In the middle of the day?
0:48:48 Seriously, what is her problem?
0:49:19 Well, it’s nice to know where they got the idea for Home Alone
0:51:35 See, I don’t buy a school principal taking THIS much interest in 1 student. This guy has issues.
0:54:19 Really? An art gallery? How fucking lame are these kids?
0:55:50 Okay, now I’m confused – this is as normal school day and now there’s a parade? With children both in the parade and watching it? Why aren’t THEY in school?
0:57:41 And now I’m supposed to believe that Ferris has made it to the front page of the local paper??
1:00:48 Okay, now you’re really jumping the shark. I’m seriously close to turning this off.
1:03:43 And now he’s hurting animals? This principal is seriously not right in the head
1:04:43 … and breaking-and-entering
1:07:00 wait — so she doesn’t recognise the principal at her own school? wtf?
1:07:30 fucking hell, the towing companies don’t fuck around
1:09:30 Surely you’d just go back to the parking place and complain?
1:11:46 ooh good, we might at least get a good perve session in this scene. Let’s find out!….
1:13:11 hmmm, yeah, that’s not a bad view
1:13:56 holy shit, is that Charlie Sheen? Playing the part of Charlie Sheen? I wonder if he knows the camera is even rolling. They just pushed him onto the set and told him to take a seat.
1:15:32 THANK YOU CHARLIE SHEEN! THE ONLY VOICE OF REASON IN THIS MOVIE
1:16:32 Okay, this clearly is going to end badly. Hughes was never one for subtlety, huh.
1:18:23 What made them thing that that trick would even work?
1:19:19 here it comes…….
1:20:04 wouldn’t you turn the engine off?
1:21:25 aaaand there goes the car.
1:23:48 I must say, he’s being awfully calm about the wreck
1:27:22 I still don’t understand why she hates Ferris so much
1:27:46 wait — isn’t that the girl from Flashdance?
1:28:05 So I just went off to check IMDB, yeah, it is her
1:28:40 but yes, in case you haven’t guess, I haven’t seen Flashdance either
1:29:50 Mind you, I have no interest in seeing that movie either.
1:30:15 I can’t believe I’ve had to wait this long for the only decent part of the movie
1:31:05 No seriously, that principal is fucking disturbed. He would be fired in a minute.
1:32:37 If nobody was home, how did all the deliveries make it inside?
1:34:58 This song is the only good thing about this movie
1:35:26 that is the worst fake-driving I’ve ever seen
1:37:39 GOD WHY WON’T THIS MOVIE END???
1:38:45 THE END.

That was awful. Truly, truly awful. I mean, I know there’s always the factor of not having seen it back when it came out, so part of the point of the movie is kinda missed now that it’s been over 20 years since it came out, so maybe I would’ve enjoyed it more if I’d seen it back then. But now? Wow, this movie does NOT hold up well. Far too many plot holes, way too many cliche movie mechanics, terrible acting, unbelievable scenarios. Eugh. Just eugh.

I give Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 2 out of 5 Ferrari’s.

#31 – He’s Just Not That Into You

Okay, so I didn’t intend on watching this movie. No, really. It was showing on the plane trip home from the UK, so I had near 24 hours to kill. The only thing more embarrassing about this movie being on my list, is that I actually enjoyed this movie.

The movie stars– well, it doesn’t seem to star any single actor in particular, which is kind of nice. It really is the quintessential “ensemble cast” movie. Each of the names on the poster seems to get their own equal amount of screen time. It opens up and starts to briefly explain each of the characters to set the scene. All of the storylines have their own little link – there’s always one person that knows another person involved in the next sub-plot. Unfortunately though, as the movie goes on, the whole six-degrees thing seemed to fade away and they become their own little storyline.

Each of the situations are just as different as the next, yet the same archetypal behaviour is still there too – there’s always one person who’s more into the other person and it ends up badly. There’s no real good guy and there’s no real bad guy either, each of the characters are almost completely flawed, but in that flaw is where the film hits gold with their intended audience, because you get that feeling of familiarity. You ask anyone you know who’s seen the movie, and during their description, they’ll tell you that “and she reminds me SO much of a friend of mine...”. But that’s what makes a good chick flick, right?

Now, ladies, you can skip this next paragraph, because I need to convince the guys why they should see it:

I can only imagine that Bradley Cooper did this part for free, because his character gets to nail both Jennifer Connolly and then Scarlett Johansson in the space of about 5 minutes. There’s plenty to perve on here (I did mention Scarlett Johansson, right?), so even if your missus does rope you into watching it, there’s plenty of great scenery for you to take in – just ignore the dialogue and after the movie’s over, just agree with everything she says and tell her that all the guys in the movie are idiots.

The movie very much follows the self-help-ness of the book, and throughout the movie, it explains the number of situations in which you’ll find that he’s just not that into you. They do a couple of vox-pop type moments to make it look unscripted, but these bits just come off as disjointed and don’t really fit the flow of the movie. The rest of the movie seems to flow on rather nicely, although as predicted, nearly all of the girls get their happy ending, which is rather unfortunate, because the whole movie isn’t exactly told in the typical rom-com style, so I was kinda hoping that someone would end their story a little open-endedly, but it was not quite to be.

While this is a romantic comedy aimed squarely at the ladies, there’s still enough to the stories to get the guys to follow along with it, perhaps even be midly entertained as well. It doesn’t always follow the usual formula, and it’s all the better for it. And hell, if there isn’t enough for the guys, then they can just listen to their iPod while watching Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Anniston and Scarlett Johansson flick their salon-perfect hair and flaunt their push-up-bra perfect boobs on the screen for 2 hours.

I give He’s Just Not That Into You 3 out of 5 one night stands

Alex: Hey, Kelli Ann. Uh, did I get any calls?
Kelli Ann: Since you asked me 11 mins ago, no, not a lot of phone traffic.
Alex: [obsessively checks phone for signal]
Kelli Ann: Oh, my God.
Alex: What?
Kelli Ann: What’s her name?
Alex: Who?
Kelli Ann: The girl… Alex.
Alex: There’s no girl.
Kelli Ann: You can’t hide it, man. I know strung out, and YOU are strung out.
Alex: Please.
Kelli Ann: This is amazing. You can’t focus. Right? Jumping every time your phone rings. Checking your e-mail a hundred times a day. Wishing you could write songs.
Alex: [laughs]
Kelli Ann: No. Feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations. It’s always the same and it has happened to you, my friend.
Alex: Shit.
Kelli Ann: Welcome to my world, asshole. Let me get the door.