Project 101

Dan attempts to watch 101 movies in 12 months

Archive for April, 2009

#27 Role Models

Posted by Dan on April 19, 2009

role-models-movie-posterI went and saw this with my girlfriend at the movies a few months ago, and to be honest, I was only half into it. I love Paul Rudd, and the previews were hilarious, but I kinda thought that it’d be the typical jock movie with all the funniest bits in the preview. But I tell you what, I got more than I bargained for.

Sean William Scott and Paul Rudd play Wheeler and Danny, two guys who work for an energy drink, going around from school to school pimping out their product. Danny, who hates his job, suddenly snaps one day after finding their truck about to be towed, and runs up a long list of fines and convictions. So instead of going to jail, the court instructs them to do 150 hours of community service, so they find themselves at Sturdy Wings, a ‘bigger brother’ type program for boys.

Now, what surprised me most about this movie, was that in the first 15 minutes, it seemed like another American Pie style comedy filled with nothing but dick and fart jokes. But, while it is partly that, it’s all a really tender coming-of-age type movie. Wheeler needs to learn to grow up and start accepting responsibility. Danny is in a rut with his life and due to his recent dumping by his girlfriend, hates the world and everything around him. There’s quite a few tender moments that I think will be very relatable.

This movie is definitely one of the most underrated movies this year, and its definitely a lot funnier and more sincere than I really thought it would be. And better yet, it’s bloody funny.

Oh, and before I forget, if you’re a KISS fan, then this is definitely one for you too. I do love me some KISS, and so when  was surprised to see so much KISS-humour, I was totally sold.

I give Role Models 3 and a half out of 5 copies of Phantoms on HDDVD.

Danny: Can I get a large black coffee?
Barista: A what?
Danny: Large black coffee.
Barista: Do you mean a venti?
Danny: No, I mean a large.
Barista: Venti is large.
Danny: No, venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact, tall is large and grande is Spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn’t mean large. It’s also the only one that’s Italian. Congratulations, you’re stupid in three languages.
Barista: Listen, dick, a venti is a large coffee.
Danny: Really? Says who? Fellini? Do you accept lira or is it all euros now?

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#26 Choke

Posted by Dan on April 18, 2009

chokeOkay, so according to Wikipedia, Choke  “is based on the 2001 novel of the same name by Chuck Palahniuk. It tells the story of a man who works in a colonial theme park, attends sexual addiction recovery workshops, and at nights pretends to choke on food in upscale restaurants so his ‘rescuers’ would pay him out of sympathy and thus cover his mother’s Alzheimer’s disease hospital bills.”

So, I’m hooked already and I’m pretty damn keen to watch it. So let’s go through a list of things about this moving that have me excited about watching it:

the main character is played by Sam Rockwell,
it also has Angelica Houston, who’s an amazing actress,
it has Kelly MacDonald, who I have a huge crush on,
and it’s written by Chuck Palahniuk, the author of the book based on my favourite movie of all time, Fight Club.

Yet, despite all this… My god does this movie suck. I really wanted to like this, but the movie went absolutely nowhere for nearly 70 minutes, then in the last 20 minutes it totally falls apart and it feels like all these ends that were about to be tied up now frayed more than ever. There are almost far too many holes to make this even a mildly enjoyable film.

I can’t go on, I’m only going to trash it more and more. This is one of the most disappointing movies on my list so far.

I give Choke 1 out of 5 anal beads.

A long time ago in ancient Greece,there was a young girl who fell in love with a young boy from another country.One day word came that the young boy would have to go home.So on their last night together she traced the outline of her lovers shadow,so that she could always remember how he looked on the very last moments they were ever to be together.

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#25 Sixteen Candles

Posted by Dan on April 15, 2009

sixteencandlesHoly crap, it’s been such a long time since I’ve updated this thing – I should get my arse into gear! It’s not like I haven’t been watching new movies, because I have. I’ve watched a few since my last entry, so I’m definitely keeping up the pace. The problem is now remembering all those movies enough to write them down!

I guess my real life has been getting in way of this blog. Quite a few things have changed though. My relationship with my fiance broke down and like a phoenix from the flames, I’m in love with someone new, who just may happen to be the woman of my dreams. I’ve got a new flatmate, I’m getting ready for overseas travel, I’ve been busy with my podcast (you can listen to me at or just look for it on iTunes), and generally just, well, being me.

But, I can tell what you’re thinking. You’re sitting there thinking to yourself “I don’t give a fuck about you, I just wanna read about the movies you’ve been watching! What’s the matter with you, son?” Firstly, thanks for not calling them “reviews”, for this is clearly not a title I’m worth of. Secondly, don’t call me “son”, that’s so patronising. Thirdly, I’m doing what’s called “padding”. See the movie I just watched? Sixteen fucking Candles. I’m fairly sure that I’m the only person on this planet who has not seen this movie.

I don’t really know what to say – there’s no point telling you about the movie because you’ve already seen it. If you haven’t, well you’re worse than me. There’s something about the 80s, but every second movie that came out was a “coming of age” type movie. They don’t have them anymore?

Either way, Molly Ringwald is kinda cute in this movie. Plus it kinda looks like they were trying to tape down her boobs or something. She looks like she’s about 25 years old in this movie, but playing a 16 year old girl. It’s weird. She’s kinda hot though in this movie … you know, for a ranga.

There was one really big surprise about this movie that I didn’t see coming: I actually enjoyed it. I mean, I LIKED this movie, I’m not sure it gets more fucked up than that. I’m starting to blow this whole ‘tough guy’ image I’m trying so desperately to maintain.

But seriously, the movie seems to be a little too quick in trying to be over. There’s almost a little too much assumed information.  There’s no real reason to explain why people are the way they are. So many unanswered questions!

Why is Samantha seemingly so unpopular?
How come Samantha didn’t mention anything in the days leading up to her birthday to her family?
Why would your only sister schedule her wedding on your birthday?
For such loving parents, how can they let their daughter marry a guy she’s only been with for 6 months?
Is the only reason why Joan Cusack gets gigs is because John insists on having his sister?
Why is Jake Ryan going after a ranga?
And how come Jake’s girlfriend is so comfortable with the knowledge that she’s just been drugged and fucked by the school geek? IT’S CALLED DATE RAPE, PEOPLE! YET SOMEHOW THIS IS ACCEPTABLE?
And let’s not forget about the good ol’ fashioned racism shown when they introduce an Asian guy. Long Duck Dong? Jesus H. Macy, I was expecting one of the other characters to exclaim “ME NO RIKEY!”

Anyway, despite all this, I give this movie 13 out of 16 candles.

“I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I’ve had other men love me before, but not for six months in a row. “

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