Project 101

Dan attempts to watch 101 movies in 12 months

#25 Sixteen Candles

Posted by Dan on April 15, 2009

sixteencandlesHoly crap, it’s been such a long time since I’ve updated this thing – I should get my arse into gear! It’s not like I haven’t been watching new movies, because I have. I’ve watched a few since my last entry, so I’m definitely keeping up the pace. The problem is now remembering all those movies enough to write them down!

I guess my real life has been getting in way of this blog. Quite a few things have changed though. My relationship with my fiance broke down and like a phoenix from the flames, I’m in love with someone new, who just may happen to be the woman of my dreams. I’ve got a new flatmate, I’m getting ready for overseas travel, I’ve been busy with my podcast (you can listen to me at http://www.favouritefive.com or just look for it on iTunes), and generally just, well, being me.

But, I can tell what you’re thinking. You’re sitting there thinking to yourself “I don’t give a fuck about you, I just wanna read about the movies you’ve been watching! What’s the matter with you, son?” Firstly, thanks for not calling them “reviews”, for this is clearly not a title I’m worth of. Secondly, don’t call me “son”, that’s so patronising. Thirdly, I’m doing what’s called “padding”. See the movie I just watched? Sixteen fucking Candles. I’m fairly sure that I’m the only person on this planet who has not seen this movie.

I don’t really know what to say – there’s no point telling you about the movie because you’ve already seen it. If you haven’t, well you’re worse than me. There’s something about the 80s, but every second movie that came out was a “coming of age” type movie. They don’t have them anymore?

Either way, Molly Ringwald is kinda cute in this movie. Plus it kinda looks like they were trying to tape down her boobs or something. She looks like she’s about 25 years old in this movie, but playing a 16 year old girl. It’s weird. She’s kinda hot though in this movie … you know, for a ranga.

There was one really big surprise about this movie that I didn’t see coming: I actually enjoyed it. I mean, I LIKED this movie, I’m not sure it gets more fucked up than that. I’m starting to blow this whole ‘tough guy’ image I’m trying so desperately to maintain.

But seriously, the movie seems to be a little too quick in trying to be over. There’s almost a little too much assumed information.  There’s no real reason to explain why people are the way they are. So many unanswered questions!

Why is Samantha seemingly so unpopular?
How come Samantha didn’t mention anything in the days leading up to her birthday to her family?
Why would your only sister schedule her wedding on your birthday?
For such loving parents, how can they let their daughter marry a guy she’s only been with for 6 months?
Is the only reason why Joan Cusack gets gigs is because John insists on having his sister?
Why is Jake Ryan going after a ranga?
And how come Jake’s girlfriend is so comfortable with the knowledge that she’s just been drugged and fucked by the school geek? IT’S CALLED DATE RAPE, PEOPLE! YET SOMEHOW THIS IS ACCEPTABLE?
And let’s not forget about the good ol’ fashioned racism shown when they introduce an Asian guy. Long Duck Dong? Jesus H. Macy, I was expecting one of the other characters to exclaim “ME NO RIKEY!”

Anyway, despite all this, I give this movie 13 out of 16 candles.

“I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I’ve had other men love me before, but not for six months in a row. “

4 Responses to “#25 Sixteen Candles”

  1. Mel said

    Oh oh! The best part is at the church, where Jake turns up.
    And he’s all Hey.
    And she’s all Me?
    And he’s all Yeah you.

    I love that movie, but seriously… the dialogue. Oi vey.

  2. tyse555 said

    John Hughes had mastered the teen film genre by 1987. This is a well known fact. Since then it’s been butchered time and time again by two-bit shitflicks who padded out running time with gratuitous nudity (not that I’m complaining about that) and dorky montages set to songs by Sixpence None The Richer.

    Give me The Breakfast Club any day of the goddamn week.

  3. Dee said

    This isn’t one of my favourite Hughes movies. Pretty In Pink is way better, and also has Molly.

    Don’t diss Joan Cusack, dude. I LOVES HER.

  4. Josh said

    Dan, have you seen Better Off Dead?
    Another classic john Hughes flick

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