Project 101

Dan attempts to watch 101 movies in 12 months

Posts Tagged ‘2000’s’

38 – Funny People

Posted by Dan on April 10, 2010

I know this movie got panned in most reviews I saw – but I think the main problem is that it was advertised as a typical Apatow movie. I mean, just look at that poster. It even says that it’s The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up as associated movies. Yes, Judd Apatow wrote and directed Funny People, but do yourself a favour and just ignore that shit before starting this movie. Funny People is not supposed to be a funny movie.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are funny moments, but – okay, let me break it down for you: Adam Sandler plays, well, Adam Sandler. His character’s name is George Simmons, but essentially it’s like it’s Adam Sandler 20 years from now. One day George finds out that he’s got a terminal illness and only has a few months to live. So one night, down in the dumps, goes to some suburban open mic night, where he sees Ira, played by Seth Rogen. Ira is an okay comedian, but has dreams of giving up his shit day-job to do comedy full time. George gets up on stage before Ira and does a routine that’s more like a foretelling of death. Ira takes the piss out of him a little and thinks he gets away with making George look like an idiot until he runs into him in the carpark. They exchange bland pleasantries. The next day, George calls Ira and asks him to join him for a corporate gig a few weeks later. During the gig, George offers him a job as his assistant.

We then follow George on his trip of dealing with his terminal illness and his experiment with a trial drug, monitored by his doctor, and how his life revolves around it as he accepts his fate. Apatow apparently wanted to write a story about his life as an up and comer, but realised that all his mentors were quite nice to him – but what would’ve happened if his biggest influences were jerks? This is that movie. It’s almost a documentary in parts than it is fiction. There’s plenty of comedic actors playing themselves, and you’ll spend many scenes picking out your favourites – hell, there’s a scene where even Eminem tells George that he needs to relax.

Also, being an Aussie, it’s quite jarring to see Eric Bana playing an Australian. There’s a particular emotional scene which is quite weird due to all the St Kilda Football Club merch that surrounds the characters in the scene. Not to mention Eric Bana finally playing an Aussie role again!

Funny People is an occasionally funny, but generally quite emotional and rather sad movie, but in an unexpected way that makes it a joy to watch. You feel like you’re getting a true insight into their lives in an authentic, genuine way.

Funny People gets 4 out of 5 one-liners.

Ray Romano: [regarding George’s illness] How did he know he had it?
Ira: He said he was feeling dizzy and tired. So he went to the doctor, and it was in his blood work.
Ray Romano: That sucks, ’cause I get dizzy and tired. Anybody gets sick and I think I’m gonna get it. Is it contagious? It’s not contagious, is it?
Ira: No. No, I’ve been around him a lot. I feel fine.
Ray Romano: Okay, ’cause when you were talking, a little bit of your spit hit my lip. Not that you got it, but he spits on your lip, you spit on mine, and the next thing you know, I’m dead, and my wife’s fucking George Lopez.

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#36 The Soloist

Posted by Dan on September 2, 2009

SoloistPosterIt’s no secret that Jamie Foxx is a bit of a douchebag in real life, but I kinda find him to be the movie equivalent of Liam Gallagher – as a person, he’s a total jackass, but it’s hard to fault the talent. I can only assume that Jamie took this role in The Soloist so he can get another Oscar nomination – because everyone knows that ‘tards equal Oscar glory. While this movie isn’t the greatest movie of the year, there’s no denying that Jamie Foxx is an amazing actor.

The Soloist is a movie about LA Times journalist Steve Lopez, who’s looking desperate for a meaningful story to write about, when he one day stumbles upon a mentally challenged violin player (like there’s any other kind, am I right orchestra-geeks? BAM!) Nathaniel Ayers, who … you know what, I’ve seen this movie a dozen times, as you have. Rich Guy meets up with Guy From The Wrong Side Of The Tracks to help give him a second chance, and The Rich Guy realises he has just as much to learn, and everyone ends up all the better for it.

I guess the best I can say about this movie, is that it’s “nice”. It’s the kind of movie that I could easily show my mum. In fact, mum if you’re reading this, you and Dad should go and see it.

That above sentence is either a recommendation or a warning. You pick. It’s an enjoyable film, don’t get me wrong, and I was happy to sit through it, but just know that there’s almost nothing original about this movie. I mean, look at the art style of the poster – you’ve ever seen that a dozen times before. The only original thing about this, is that this is actually based on a real story.

It has some nice moments in it, and it’s a lovely way to spend 90 minutes on a Sunday afternoon, but just don’t go into it with high hopes, and you’ll be fine.

I give The Soloist 3 out of 5 Unfinished Symphonies

“I’m telling you, it was such an unbelievable experience – the whole thing, the whole day and if you had seen him, if you could have felt him. I mean it’s the same hall, we’re listening to the same goddamn music, but no, you see him it’s one thing, but you feel him, I’m watching him and he’s watching the music and while they’re playing, I say ‘my god, there is something higher out there, something higher out there and he lives with it and he’s experiencing it – i’ve never experienced it, but i can tell, i don’t even know what you fuckin call it?”
“what? what is it?”
“THAT’S grace? Thank you! To be there with him like that and see the way that he is transported – he surrenders. Dammit honey. I mean, I’ve never loved anything the way he loves that music”

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#35 – Family Guy Presents ‘Blue Harvest’

Posted by Dan on August 31, 2009

Blue Harvest - Cover ArtOkay, so I guess this is kind of cheating. It’s not really a “movie” exactly, but it is a ‘feature-length’ episode, and it was released on dvd as it’s own special, so fuck it. Besides, I’m a little behind schedule and need to catch up, so this is a quick win for me.

I really don’t know what to say about this – it’s exactly what you think it is. It’s Family Guy taking off Star Wars IV. It’s good because there’s enough for just the casual Family Guy fan (because let’s face it, if there’s anyone that hasn’t seen the Star Wars trilogy, well, I can’t know you), but then there’s a heap of great references to keep fans going as well – some of the ‘camera’ shots are absolutely perfect. Not to mention how much they would’ve paid in royalties.

So, essentially, the ‘episode’ happens when the episode opens to the Griffins watching tv (one of the funniest gags of the whole thing), when the power goes out, Peter tells everyone the story of Star Wars. One of the best bits is actually right at the end, when Chris accuses Peter of just copying what Robot Chicken did a few months ago – funny because Chris is voiced by Seth Green, one of the co-creators of Robot Chicken, with Peter, voiced by Seth MacFarlane, one of the creators of Family Guy.

As a self-confessed Star Wars geek, the most impressive thing about this is the attention to detail. From the same shots, to homages to favourite quotes, to picking at what was originally a huge plot hole that have been talked about for years. Naturally I’m going to give this a solid 5 out of 5, and as an indication, here’s the opening scrolling text that parodies the intro to each of the Star Wars movies…

A long time ago, but somehow in the future…


It is a period of civil war and renegade
paragraphs floating through space.

There’s cool space battles, and the bad guy is the good guy’s dad. But you
don’t find that out ’til the next episode. And the hot chick is really the sister of
the good guy, but they don’t know it and they kiss. Which is kind of messed up.
I mean, what if they had done it instead of just kissed?

Angelina Jolie kissed her brother. Yeah, she did. You know it, I know it,
and her dad knows it. That’s why they hardly ever talk anymore.
You can run away to Africa, but you can’t run away from the truth.

Oh, by the way, here’s a tip for you: when this is over, go out and
rent the movie “Gia.” She’s way naked in it, and makes out with another chick
and everything. It’s awesome. I stumbled across it late night on HBO after I had
just got back from hockey, and I almost fainted. But I digest…

Princess Leia was coming back from buying space groceries when this happened…

Oh and by the way, it’s called “Blue Harvest” because that’s what Return Of The Jedi’s working title was.

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#33 This Is England

Posted by Dan on August 23, 2009

432px-This_is_england_film_posterThis is a movie I picked up almost by accident – I was looking at the dvd store a while ago, and happen to pick this up, thinking it was a different movie, then read the back and realised it was worth the hire. And now that I’ve watched it? Yeah, totally worth the hire.

The story’s about this young kid called Shaun, who’s father was killed in the Falklands War, gets the shit kicked out of him at school on a fairly regular basis. He’s on his way home from school one day all pissed off and frustrated at the world, when he runs into a group of skinheads who take pity on him and start to bring him into their group, lead by an older boy called Woody.

One day, a mate of Woody’s is released from prison, nicknamed Combo. Combo’s found a new streak of racism in him, and is wanting a team of followers, only Woody and his mates, who are more of the traditional non-political skinheads, want nothing of it. Shaun, however, chooses to side with Combo, who then takes him under his wing. Shaun is lead down a steep and dangerous path, which eventually ends up in a deadly confrontation and forces Shaun to have some solid realisations about where his life is heading.

This movie is definitely not for the faint of heart, and is fairly tough-going for most of the movie. The racism is incredibly confronting, and it’s quite sad to see a young child swayed so easily on his quest to look for a new role-model. Despite being so hard to watch, it’s even harder to turn away. A quality cast, a solid script and a genuinely great storyline that just drips of gritty realism.

I give This Is England 4 out of 5 St George’s Crosses.

Lovely, lovely, love you for that, that’s fucking great. A proud man, learn from him; that’s a proud man. That’s what we need, man. That’s what this nation has been built on, proud men. Proud fucking warriors! Two thousand years this little tiny fucking island has been raped and pillaged, by people who have come here and wanted a piece of it – two fucking world wars! Men have laid down their lives for this. For this… and for what? So people can stick their fucking flag in the ground and say, “Yeah! This is England.”

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#31 – He’s Just Not That Into You

Posted by Dan on July 26, 2009

hes_just_not_that_into_youOkay, so I didn’t intend on watching this movie. No, really. It was showing on the plane trip home from the UK, so I had near 24 hours to kill. The only thing more embarrassing about this movie being on my list, is that I actually enjoyed this movie.

The movie stars– well, it doesn’t seem to star any single actor in particular, which is kind of nice. It really is the quintessential “ensemble cast” movie. Each of the names on the poster seems to get their own equal amount of screen time. It opens up and starts to briefly explain each of the characters to set the scene. All of the storylines have their own little link – there’s always one person that knows another person involved in the next sub-plot. Unfortunately though, as the movie goes on, the whole six-degrees thing seemed to fade away and they become their own little storyline.

Each of the situations are just as different as the next, yet the same archetypal behaviour is still there too – there’s always one person who’s more into the other person and it ends up badly. There’s no real good guy and there’s no real bad guy either, each of the characters are almost completely flawed, but in that flaw is where the film hits gold with their intended audience, because you get that feeling of familiarity. You ask anyone you know who’s seen the movie, and during their description, they’ll tell you that “and she reminds me SO much of a friend of mine...”. But that’s what makes a good chick flick, right?

Now, ladies, you can skip this next paragraph, because I need to convince the guys why they should see it:

I can only imagine that Bradley Cooper did this part for free, because his character gets to nail both Jennifer Connolly and then Scarlett Johansson in the space of about 5 minutes. There’s plenty to perve on here (I did mention Scarlett Johansson, right?), so even if your missus does rope you into watching it, there’s plenty of great scenery for you to take in – just ignore the dialogue and after the movie’s over, just agree with everything she says and tell her that all the guys in the movie are idiots.

The movie very much follows the self-help-ness of the book, and throughout the movie, it explains the number of situations in which you’ll find that he’s just not that into you. They do a couple of vox-pop type moments to make it look unscripted, but these bits just come off as disjointed and don’t really fit the flow of the movie. The rest of the movie seems to flow on rather nicely, although as predicted, nearly all of the girls get their happy ending, which is rather unfortunate, because the whole movie isn’t exactly told in the typical rom-com style, so I was kinda hoping that someone would end their story a little open-endedly, but it was not quite to be.

While this is a romantic comedy aimed squarely at the ladies, there’s still enough to the stories to get the guys to follow along with it, perhaps even be midly entertained as well. It doesn’t always follow the usual formula, and it’s all the better for it. And hell, if there isn’t enough for the guys, then they can just listen to their iPod while watching Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Anniston and Scarlett Johansson flick their salon-perfect hair and flaunt their push-up-bra perfect boobs on the screen for 2 hours.

I give He’s Just Not That Into You 3 out of 5 one night stands

Alex: Hey, Kelli Ann. Uh, did I get any calls?
Kelli Ann: Since you asked me 11 mins ago, no, not a lot of phone traffic.
Alex: [obsessively checks phone for signal]
Kelli Ann: Oh, my God.
Alex: What?
Kelli Ann: What’s her name?
Alex: Who?
Kelli Ann: The girl… Alex.
Alex: There’s no girl.
Kelli Ann: You can’t hide it, man. I know strung out, and YOU are strung out.
Alex: Please.
Kelli Ann: This is amazing. You can’t focus. Right? Jumping every time your phone rings. Checking your e-mail a hundred times a day. Wishing you could write songs.
Alex: [laughs]
Kelli Ann: No. Feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations. It’s always the same and it has happened to you, my friend.
Alex: Shit.
Kelli Ann: Welcome to my world, asshole. Let me get the door.

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#29 Taken

Posted by Dan on July 4, 2009

TakenOkay, okay, so it’s taken me a while to post again. I’ve been on holidays since the start of June, and I only just got back from Scotland after spending time visiting my beautiful and amazing girlfriend (she’s spending 6 months over there and I went to visit at the half-way mark of her trip – don’t worry, this is not some crazy internet-dating thing where I fly around the world for a woman I’ve never met. I’ve totally met this woman before. I’ve even see her naked! SCORE!) But anyway, even on the plane I managed to catch a few movies. One or two of them I’m not really proud of, but hey, sometimes you gotta play the cards you’re dealt, right? Right!

So, let’s at least start off with a good flick, shall we? Taken is, in a nutshell, a story about a retired CIA agent Bryan Mills, played by Liam Neeson, who’s daughter is travelling overseas with a friend, until they get kidnapped by the Albanian mob. It’s nothing personal, his daughter just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. See, the Albanian’s kidnap young girls, then turn them into heroin addicts and make them do prostitution. This is something that obviously doesn’t sit well with Bryan (go figure). He then decides to go and get her himself, because he’s some amazingly terrific CIA agent will loads of skills. But not like in that lame Napoleon Dynamite kinda way, but more in a “I know 4 places on your body that I can kill you with one strike of my fist” kinda way.

Now, I’d say that the majority of people would probably know Liam Neeson for being a loveable kind of guy. I asked a few female friends recently, while talking about this movie, what the last movie was that they saw him in, and every single one of them said ‘Love, Actually‘. But for those of you that have seen Batman Begins, you’ll be well aware that Liam Neeson is one bad-ass motherfucker and Taken is just another example of this. Forget about The Wu-Tang Clan, Liam Neeson aint nothin’ to fuck with.

This is pretty much a solo effort by Liam. There’s a nice little ensemble cast, but they’re easily forgettable when in contrast to Neeson. The action is swift and efficient, and for a retired agent, Neeson is certainly in good shape. There’s a few fairly unconvincing moments, as well as a fair bit of “assumed prior-knowledge” with the movie, which sometimes makes it harder to judge who’s a good guy, who’s a bad guy, and what does one consider good or bad to be? Sometimes this can be negative (like the dinner scene at Jean-Claude’s house), but for the majority, it’s just a good little pop-corn flick that I’ll let things like that slide in favour of it’s great fight scenes.

When I watched this, it was a few days before my girlfriend and another female friend of hers take off to Brussels for about a week, so I must say that I’m feeling slightly nervous at this stage after watching that movie. But on the upside, if those two do get captured, I know immediately who I’m gonna call.

Taken is a thoroughly enjoying action flick with enough suspension and action to satisfy just about everyone. It’s all-over a fairly well balanced film with a fast yet stable pace. Highly recommended.

I given Taken 3 and a half unconvincing French accents out of 5

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you’re looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money… but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it – I will not look for you, I will not pursue you… but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”
-Bryan, talking to some Albanian mobster on the phone

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#10 Layer Cake

Posted by Dan on December 19, 2008

Well, I’m 10% of the way through, so, uhh, hooray?

I love Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, as well as Snatch. In fact, I’ve watched the two of them so many times, I can recite almost the whole thing without actually needing to play the movie at all (this annoys my fiance to no end – it’s great!). So naturally, I was dead keen to watch this – which is probably why it’s taken me this long to watch it. I knew I’d like it, so it’s kinda like I’ve already seen it and approved of it, if that makes sense?

I should’ve watched this long ago. Not because I enjoyed it, but so I could’ve spread the word about how awful this movie is. It’s pretty much looks and feels like someone like me who’s obsessed with the two movies decided to cash in on it too. It’s a lot more serious and gritty than the LS&TSB and Snatch, but the artistic style is there. Just don’t let that “from the producer of…” bit act as some kind of recommendation.

In fact, now that I think about it, this rule applies for any movie – if they have to justify the reason for seeing a movie based soley on the fact that someone that has something to do with this movie did something else that was really good, then the movie’s a stinker. Take my word for it.

Daniel Craig plays the main character, and he does a fairly solid job at it too. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of really great parts of the movie, and there’s some great acting performances, but with everything tied together, plus an overly complicated storyline, it just seems to trip over itself more times than it successfully sprints.

I give it 2 out of 5 Duke of Windsors.

Interesting fact about the movie: The country club where XXXX and Morty meet Jimmy in the beginning of the film is the same location as the golf club where James Bond plays a match with Auric Goldfinger in Goldfinger

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#9 Lars And The Real Girl

Posted by Dan on December 15, 2008

I remember when I saw Mysterious Skin a few years ago, when it was finished, I sat in the cinema chair completely silent through the credits, trying to gather my emotions. When I left the cinema, me and the two friends didn’t say a word until we were out on the street, and one of my friends said “I need a drink”, and we all nodded. It seriously fucked with us all, and it took me a while to work out whether or not I like it. It’s that sort of feeling that I live for in movies. As much as I love a good brainless comedy, or some cheap throw-away action film, I truly love a movie that fucks with my head.

Lars &  the Real Girl is one of these. I only finished watching it an hour or so ago, and I still don’t know how I feel about it. So really, this ‘review’ (a bit rich calling it that, but still) could go either way.

Lars & The Real Girl is a story of Lars (Ryan Gosling) living with the grief of the death of his parents. His mother died at birth, although I don’t think that they never really explained what happened to his dad. But now, Lars and his brother have inherited the family home.  His brother Gus lives in the house with his wife Karin, played wonderfully by Emily Mortimer. Lars chooses to live in the garage on his own. He’s a strange guy bordering on mental illness – he’s a shut-in with very little friends except for the guy he shares a cubicle with at work. It’s here that he’s shown the Real Doll website, and a few days later, Lars orders one.

Lars’ mental instability takes a new turn when Lars treats his new doll, Bianca, like a real person. Gus and Karin are delighted by the news that Lars has met a woman who he’s invited to dinner (at which Karin struggles each day to get him to share a meal with even just the two of them), but then things get awkward when Lars brings along Bianca. They send him to see their family GP (played by Patricia Clarkson), who also happens to be a pyschiatrist, who treats Lars under the guise of taking Bianca in to the practice each day for a check-up.

In an odd turn of events, the whole community decide to go along with Lars’ delusion, showing the great compassion that everyone has for Lars, and everyone in the community seems to draw something out of the situation for their own benefit. It’s a sweet tale that proves that it’s actually possible to love, without having to feel like it’s some kind of transaction, that it’s possible to simply love.

Now, there are bits of this movie that I loved, but others that I struggled with when it came to suspending my sense of disbelief. I can’t imagine a community, big or small, so openly accepting Lars’ delusion with such open arms. Whether or not Lars’ family was a “pillar of the community” type is never really explained. There isn’t a single person that seems to have openly hostile prejudices to the situation, which I find a little hard to believe. There’s really only one scene where Gus tries to tell Lars that Bianca isn’t real and is just a rubber doll, but even that only lasts a moment, and is largely ignored by Lars. Even the sweet Margo, who’s clearly had a crush on Lars since the dawn of time is patient and understanding when she realises that she’s been passed up for a rubber doll. She either has a stone for a heart, or is even more accepting than I give her credit for. I mean, shit, I’ve been knocked back by a girl for another guy before, but at least that guy was alive. I’m not sure I could take that kind of set-back.

If anything, I really related to the role of the brother, Gus and if anything, Gus really relates how I felt about the movie. I found Gus to be the main driver and a metaphor for the movie’s plot – at first, Gus was confused about what was going on and didn’t really understand it, so he became resentful and angered with Lars, hoping that he’d just “snap out of it”, but then, like everyone else in the movie, used the situation to explain his feelings and what happened in the past with his brother and finally tell him he was sorry, and in the end, even though he was still a little unsure about the life he and everyone around him was living, learned to become compassionate and understanding.

“Sometimes I get so lonely I forget what day it is, and how to spell my name”

I give Lars & The Real Girl 3 out of 5 Fleshlights

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#8 Street Kings

Posted by Dan on December 13, 2008

I’ve kinda been avoiding this movie a little. I’ve read some fairly unfavourable reviews, and the few people I know who have seen it seemed a bit iffy. Plus the cover is practically the exact same cover as the one for a shitty video game called The Club, so maybe that had something to do with it.

Given that it’s been nothing but wet and cold here in Melbourne for the past couple of days, I figure why not spend the night in tonight watching a couple of movies. So thanks to Video Ezy, I’m pretty much set until Monday morning.

Street Kings is a story about Tom Ludlow, who’s being somewhat wrongly implicated in the murder of his ex cop partner who’s gunned down by two thugs. There appears to be a cover-up, and Ludlow isn’t happy and goes searching for answers, which uncovers a web of corrupt cops, which only results in him questioning the allegiance of co-workers he’s spent his entire life with.

Look, to be honest, it’s really hard to talk about this movie without giving everything away. It has a really great plot that’s interesting enough to keep you entertained, but not so confusing that it’s impossible to follow. The cast is terrific – my only real complaint is how under-utilised some of them are. It’s kinda creepy seeing Jay Mohr with a bad comb-over and a big thick moustache

Despite my general dislike for Keanu Reeves (I had no idea he was the main character when I picked it up), he’s actually really good in this and actually manages to out-act Forrest Whitaker (which, to be honest, I never really liked him much as an actor – although The Last King Of Scotland is a movie that you’ll see here soon). You’ll spend the entire movie going “ooh look, it’s that guy who’s in that movie/tv show!” to almost distracting levels. There’s a couple of great action scenes. I often wonder whether Reeve’s character has some odd fetish for breaking limbs.

If you’re after a good action flick that has a good storyline with enough of a plot to keep it interesting, as well as some great action scenes (the chase scene with that Mexican guy in the ‘hood was cool as fuck), and a great ensemble cast, you can’t go too far wrong with Street Kings.

I give this one 3 and a half dead cops out of 5

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#7 Zak & Miri Make A Porno

Posted by Dan on December 10, 2008

ooOOOoooh, lookie at Dan, watching a movie that hasn’t come out yet (I believe it’s coming to Australian cinemas in March)! Blah blah, I’m sure half you motherfuckers have already seen this anyway. If you haven’t, please call me, and I’ll make you a copy, because this is seriously one of the funniest movies I’ve seen all year.

Zak and Miri, starring Seth Rogan (who’s totally awesome) and Elizabeth Banks (who’s totally hot) is about two childhood friends who live together, but can’t afford to pay their bills. Eventually after their power and water get shut off, that they get the idea to make a porno to raise the cash, after Zak chats to a guy at their high school reunion, who tells Zak how much money he makes each year.

It’s one of those movies that is fairly predictable, but yet is so damn enjoyable that you just don’t care. They talk about how they promise that “nothing will change after they have sex”, but you know it will, and that it’s “just for money”, which you know it’s not, but there’s a shitload of laughs all the way through it, from Justin Long’s flat-out hilarious performance as Brandon, the gay porn star from California. And there’s also Craig Robinson, who I love, playing, well, Craig Robinson.

A lot of Kevin Smith’s movies, while being enjoyable, really do end up catering for the Kevin Smith key demographic, but I think that this is definitely one you can recommend to almost anyone (Nan, if you’re reading this, please, don’t). It has that Kevin Smith feel to it, without having that Kevin Smith feel to it, if that makes sense?

Either way, I’m trying to talk about this movie without giving too much away. So please, in the words of Molly Meldrum, do yourself a favour, and go see this movie. It’s a really sweet comedy, with some really distasteful jokes in it … as well as Jason Mewes’s penis – but I’ll let you decide whether or not that last point is a ‘pro’ or a ‘con’.

I give Zack & Miri Make A Porno 4 out of 5 Dutch Rudders
(no, I’m not going to explain what a Dutch Rudder is, just go and see the movie)

Miriam: Nobody wants to see us fuck, Zack!
Zack: EVERYBODY wants to see ANYBODY fuck. I hate Rosie O’Donell, but if somebody said “I got a tape of Rosie O’Donell getting fucked stupid” I’d be like “Why the fuck aren’t we watching that right now?”

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